Geetting answers to posts x

Hello Jane

Sorry, don’t know Tolox at all, but suggest that to find out if it will suit you, you really need to spend time there

Maybe rent somewhere for a month or more, or if that not possible due to work, as much time as you are able to, before committing to buy.

It's a shame you feel like that. The truth is, unless there's something specific asked about a place (is there a medical centre, a school, a bus service) it's not possible to answer a question about the quality of life somewhere. It's a very personal thing. I've known people move out here, having visited a few times and with a basic level of Spanish and enough money to live comfortably, and return within 6 months because they've been miserable and homesick. I've known very happy, long term couples split up after moving here. Some of us moved into a place having never been there before, with no knowledge or friends and now can't imagine living anywhere else ever again. Some people move to a favourite holiday place, somewhere they've come to year after year, only to find it's very different actually living there all the time.
You just don't know. It's a risk, for everyone. There's no Right or Wrong answer. We don't know what you like/don't like, how easy you find it to learn a language, how your relationship works, what your extended family is like etc etc etc etc.

People don't respond because they don't Not Care. They don't respond because there's no answer. As Andrew14 says, you just to come over and find out for yourself what works for you.

Thank you for responding. My Husband and I were in Tolox overnight seeing a house, which we want to buy but when we spent Saturday night in town at the top square it was very quiet and we met every one was lovely, just nobody spoke English and this worries us. We jave have been told it is a great community of mixed countries and we didnt see that in our short time there. We are very socialble people amd want to be involved in the community. Also didn't find many shops of any kind. I want to buy local and put into the community. I'm going to speak to Karen who loves living in Tolox village and hopefully She'll set me right. Thank you so much 😁💕Jane and Stuart 

These villages in Axarquia are not like the typical 'ex-pat' places, in that they tend not to have big, tight knit communities of foreigners that only stick to themselves, shop in places that only do 'their' food, and never mix with other communities, or Spaniards. We tend to come out of the woodwork slowly! After a while, you'll find each other. Where I live there's lots of mixing between different nationalities for everything from fiestas to petanque, nights out to language classes. That's why renting is a good option at first, it gives you a chance to see what's there and if it fits. Even a month long holiday will show you a whole different side than a couple of nights.
As for the language, you just have to bite the bullet and Do It. Make mistakes, make a fool of yourself, ask, laugh, learn as you go along. Being timid won't work. The Spanish are not offended if you get it wrong, they like helping you out. In time you'll find who can help you with official stuff, which is always useful, even if your Spanish gets good. Start now, in the UK, with online classes, there's good YouTube videos that just teach you the basics of conversation, then when you get here, use what you've learned! You just have to brazen it out, and you'll make friends in the process - even if it's the lady in the bread shop at first, it's a start to being accepted into the wider community. If you are intent on getting into life here, you'll get it right one way or another.

Thank you for responding x I do not ever want to have the "gangs" of expats who don't mix, that's so ignorant, how rude!!! 

I have cognitive problems and have extreme memory issues and I worry I won't retain enough of what I'm already  trying to learn, just phrases and simpld questions. It bothers me that I may vo into town and not find someone who speaks english for me to have a gab with. I hope that doesn't come over as cheeky. I am trying my best and would, but it's a big worry. 

I think I need an inbetween, not expats but more English speaking people. Thanks for ur advice x

Once you have a basic knowledge of vocabulary and grammar....I have found it useful to write everything down and present it to the recipient. Eg. The Doctor. This prevents me getting nervous and tongue-tied. 

It is ongoing and hard work to learn this language. I am finding the entire process enjoyable, though. 

I know of many people who have lived here for years and haven’t bothered. Unlike, the UK, there are no state-paid interpreters. You are required to provide your own.  

Hello there, 

Well from my PERSONAL experience here in Spain thinking of ever having a good all gab with a Spanish speaker will be extremely difficult.  For one thing they speak so fast that even if you learn enough of the language to ask for a coffee at a restaurant you will be a long way off having a conversation.  Learning to ask for 1kg of apples is easy enough after awhile.

Learning Spanish will be a huge effort but if you have the time and the energy terrific.  Some people love to learn a language and for them its a good exercise for the brain (which it definitely is).  If this is not you then you might find it frustrating and who needs that feeling all the time.  Also learning a new language in later life comes easier if you already speak another language.  If you have spoken English all your life and you do not wish to spend 3-4 hours each and every day expect that having this chat with a Spanish person may not happen.  Unless, of course, they speak English (which many do).  Even then the good old chat as we know it will come about with an English speaker, not necessarily British.

The thing to do is get involved with something.  For myself I got involved in AGYA which is Association of Gatos y Amigos. Through this I have met many people from all over.  You can choose whatever activity suits you and then get involved.  There is a Dog Shelter somewhat close by that lots of people get involved in and of course that brings them in contact with other English speakers.  

Its not so bad being involved with ExPats.  After all that is what we are!  And in life some are nice and suit you and some don't but personally I do not think its wrong to wish to live around people you can speak with!  Where I live we have a mixture of Spanish and Non.  Its nice to wave and say Buen Dia to my neighbours but if I want a chat with someone I need an English speaker.  Without that I would feel isolated.  So find yourself a club or a charity and get involved with English speakers to avoid being isolated while you practice Spanish.  But be realistic in the challenge ahead.

Yes, it really does take time, especially, if you are older - but persevere and once you have the basics, try it out in the shops with small sentences.

My problem is they tend to answer in very swift Spanish and I am a bit deaf.

They will appreciate you making the effort, though.